Coffee Break 8
DUMB
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
The following are actual excerpts from
classified sections of various city
newspapers.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery.
Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
Semi-Annual After-Christmas Sale.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
What Did I Do Now!!
This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She replies, "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?"
He says, "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races?
Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on."
She is appeased and goes off to work around the house.
Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.
He says, "What's that for this time?" She answered,
"Your horse called."
BEER CONTAINS FEMALE HORMONES
Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologise when wrong.
